Why Holidays can be triggering.

Know that feeling where you can not wait until your long awaited holiday, and then you get there and its does not live up to those expectations? The fantasy of a carefree restorative time slips to the way side.

Holidays are often so built up in our imaginations, desert oases on the horizon of our working lives. They represent the macro act of care a counterbalance to chaotic and relentless careers.

However they frequently do not live up to our expectations, and we can feel such disappointment even failure. This can be amplified as we passively consume images of other people’s idealised holiday snaps on social media. Holidays and time off pose very specific psychological challenges. They disregulate our routines which can be a source of comfort and regulation, especially for those with neural divergence. This can be destabilising.

Additionally we tend to spend a lot more time with others in unboundaried settings, which can foster relational tensions, and even trigger family based traumas. You may experience this as feelings of emotional and physical claustrophobia.

How to holiday well is something that can be fruitfully explored in therapy. Designing a more mindful holiday where we make sure to attend to our own needs. Setting boundaries listening to our own cues whether these be interoceptive or emotional, making space for down time, carving out alone time if being with others is causing social burn out. There are many ways therapy can help you work out what you need to enjoy your holidays more. As well as to accept good enough over perfection. The desire for perfection may even impact how you approach restorative time.